the conversation

So I am still thinking about the conversation I had with BJ the other night.  I shared it with Nancy and she said that was a very discouraging conversation.  She said that BJ is probably is dealing with his own issues of singleness.  Why did he tell us his thoughts?  Are the guys I am friends with passive?  Was it to build himself up?  Was it to get a reaction?  What’s the issue really?  I think it is back to the core question….do we think God is good?  Do we believe He is good enough to love and care for our hearts?

God I want to trust you with my heart!

joys of being single

Like many 30 somethings, marriage and singleness seems to be the forefront of all conversation. I have daily ‘chat’ with my best gal pal over our own struggles and investigation into the issue.  Deeply rooted in our conversation is the desire to be noticed and affirmed from the opposite sex. 

So in my own journey innto singleness-again, I am discovering a new sense of adventure, beauty and creativity unlike I have in a while.

It is the  start of a new year and I reflect on the past year and explore the possiblities for the future.  My mantra for 2008 is that it would be the year of submission.  Submission is a scary word and to a educated christian woman that word has many negative attributes.  However, I have decided to embrace the word and what it means to me in my journey as a woman and in my relationship with Christ. 

So here goes…a new chapter, a year of submission, a time of healing, the unfolding of a new adventure, the captivating beauty of God and his people and the unexplainable and often misunderstood world of creativity.

So in my new found chapter, singleness is the topic that has most been shared among my cohorts of late.  As some of us move into singleness again, and some of us wrestle with this familiar territory, it is a place that is often seen in a negative light. I have read countless articles and even had numerous conversations with both sexes on the issue.  In coversation, I am realizing both men and women struggle with our own issues on the topic.  I and many other often believe that our friends grass is greener than ours or their life is better than ours.  But is it, really?  Don’t get me wrong, at my core is a real desire for marriage and family but I believe God has other plans for me at the moment.  I could scheme on how to meet the perfect guy or even how to be the perfect woman but I am not sure that is what God wants for me.  So in my own exploration of my own identity as single woman and what it means to submit to Christ, I have begun to unfold something beautiful and worth being celebrated!

I have made a list that I believe are things you can do to celebrate the single life.  They are in no particular order but are things I have experienced.  They have all brought great joy into my life.  I challenge you to find the joy of being single!

 1.  Adopt a pet.  I recently adopted a little sheltie/spaniel mix from my local shelter.  I had looked online quite a bit and  researched different breeds.  The application for adopting a pet seem rather dauting to me.  My friends that I shared my desire with, often reminded me of how it would change my single, often selfish, life.   Well I must say they were right! It has changed my life but definitely for the better.  My new pup has been a great addition to my life.  He has offered unconditional companionship unlike no one other.  He is always excited to see me and loves to snuggle.  My new friend has brought deep love and healing into my life.  He has definitely helped me with being okay with being alone.  

2.  Go on a road trip.  I suggest going on an adventure with some good girl friends.  There is definitely something said for getting out on the open road and experiencing a new place.  I have had some of the best times in my life when I have gone on mini vacations with my favorite gal pals.  Try it….live the life of adventure!

3.  Get a mani and/or a pedi.  There is nothing like relaxing at the salon on a Saturday, having someone tend to your every needs, rubbing your feet or arms.  I have been told by friends that are mom’s that they would love to have this time.  As a single woman we are lucky, we can spoil ourselves whenever we want!  Get your best friend and spend a Saturday pampering yourselves!

4.  Volunteer.  As a single person you have more freedom to volunteer at various non profits and charitable organizations in your community.  Volunteering is a great way to meet other people and also to impact the community and the world we live in.  Volunteering can bring such joy into your life.  There are many opportunities, so get plugged in!

5.  Travel abroad.   Why wait until you are married or retired to travel abroad, do it now!   I think this is a great way to enjoy the single life, see new places, meet new people and expand your horizon of issues going on in the world.  Spend a week or two on a mission trip, or volunteering or just traveling around.